So, as I sit here at the orthopedic and sports medicine doctor’s office awaiting an MRI on my knee, let me give all of you parents a friendly piece of advice. Never, ever play with your kids and their toys as it can be extremely detrimental to your health.
Wait, what? Don’t be too quick to disregard this pearl of wisdom. I know that at first glance, it might seem counter-intuitive or even bizarre, but let me assure you that it is not.
Case in point, two days ago, Grayson and I were sitting on the floor playing with his trains and tracks. I know, I know, you’re asking what harm could possibly result from something that seems so mundane, pedestrian even. Well, let me tell you that this is downright dangerous behavior which cannot be allowed to continue!
Yet, if you are willing to risk it all and not take my advice, whatever you do, do not stand up when you are done playing. Crawl, roll, call a friend to come get you, but whatever you do, do not make the same mistake that I did and stand up.
But, wait, how can standing up be dangerous?!?
Why do you continue to doubt me?
Fine, I’ll explain. Apparently, there are inherent risks in switching from a sitting position to standing. Here I was thinking that I would just perform the same act that I have performed thousands of times before (you know, standing up), but my knee had other ideas.
So, I stand up after rebuilding the same set of Thomas track that I have built dozens of times before and POP! There goes my right knee.
Thomas the tank engine – what did I ever do to you?
So, here I sit waiting for an MRI following an x-Ray to confirm what the doctor believes to be a torn meniscus, which will then require surgery (at the worst) or physical therapy (at the best). Official confirmation coming Monday. Stay tuned.
This will probably go down as the lamest injury in history. I won’t have any cool stories to tell, such as being flattened by the 250 lb. defenseman just as I scored the winning goal, or slipping on a loose boulder and tumbling 50 feet down a mountain side before catching an outcropping one-handed to save myself from falling into a bottomless crevasse (that would be cool).
Nope, instead when people ask me, “what did you do to your knee?,” I’ll have to respond with a mind blowing, “I stood up.”
Until next time – Chris (soon to be INactive dad at home)